Holiday?!
So it's 2 weeks today and I am pleased with myself, but I have been here before (quite a few times!!). When I have had periods of not drinking in the past or attempted to stop it is always at about 2 or 3 weeks that I begin to question my decision as the memories of the hangovers and life with drink begin to fade. My head last night was in that space! Friday night, the start of a a bank holiday weekend, half term and we are off on holiday this morning. There was talk of meeting friends at the pub for a quick catch up, and I really think I could have caved if we had gone. We didn't go and we stayed in with a cup of tea, did some packing and continued working our way through The Games of Thrones - love a good box set! Of course I am, as always, glad that I didn't give in last night, but that annoying voice in the back of my head has been chatting constantly about how it will be okay to just drink on holidays! I briefly spoke with my hubby about this last night as the thoughts of that glass of wine when we meet friends at the restaurant on the beach keep popping into my head. He reminded me that I have tried this and it doesn't work!
I still find it so 'unfair' that I can't moderate my drinking on all occasions, I can at times, but these were getting less frequent towards the 9th May when I decided to stop. I remain unable to get my head around the fact that I will never drink again, and in all honesty I really don't want to. I generally think my problem is that I could moderate to a point and therefore find it soooo difficult to think that I won't learn to do this so successfully. Yet when I look back over the last 2 or 3 months, and the way I was, my sensible self screams out at me and helpfully provides lots of images and memories to remind me quite how bad I had become…
Interestingly my "I'm done drinking" app tells me that I have not consumed 85 drinks and saved my self $114! I think my settings are a bit high, but it's not that far out.
So, lets see how this week pans out. For now with my head where it is at I am just going to take one day at a time. Everyone asleep and off out for a run with the pooch, this is new!
I still find it so 'unfair' that I can't moderate my drinking on all occasions, I can at times, but these were getting less frequent towards the 9th May when I decided to stop. I remain unable to get my head around the fact that I will never drink again, and in all honesty I really don't want to. I generally think my problem is that I could moderate to a point and therefore find it soooo difficult to think that I won't learn to do this so successfully. Yet when I look back over the last 2 or 3 months, and the way I was, my sensible self screams out at me and helpfully provides lots of images and memories to remind me quite how bad I had become…
Interestingly my "I'm done drinking" app tells me that I have not consumed 85 drinks and saved my self $114! I think my settings are a bit high, but it's not that far out.
So, lets see how this week pans out. For now with my head where it is at I am just going to take one day at a time. Everyone asleep and off out for a run with the pooch, this is new!
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