One year ago today...
...I had just got back from a festival totally wiped out, and had disappointed myself yet again on my family holiday by drinking every day when I had vowed yet again that I wouldn't! Finally something sunk in, or clicked or perhaps I had just had enough of beating myself up pretty much every day, being distracted from life but finally I accepted my lot and had my last drink on the 31st August 2016. It has not been easy, but I can honestly say it is pretty much the best thing I have done!
As I write this, I am sitting overwhelmed with pride for my son who received his GCSE results this morning. School life has not been easy for him (or me!) as he is dyslexic, and the the last few months have been a serious struggle but we've made it! He passed 8 GCSE's and even got two 'A''s - totally amazing! Had I still been drinking I firmly believe it would have turned out differently. I have been more patient, more organised and totally focused on getting him the help and support he has needed, not distracted by thoughts of wine, crippled with hangovers or wasting endless hours thinking about how I really ought to stop!
I could never have got this far without the support of my amazingly patient husband, and the online community that has unfolded since I embarked on this journey. It is truly amazing how many people have chosen the dry life for varying reasons, but to coin a phrase from @thesoberglow, we are all doing for the health of it!
I remain somewhat disheartened by some friends and family and their lack of interest which has upset and puzzled me for months. I have come to realise that I don't need their interest or support - it is my journey and one of which I am immensely proud! I am not going to waste anymore time contemplating and trying to understand others, something I have always done, but focus on what I can control.
As with a great many, my eating habits and sugar addiction have not been great but I gave myself this year to do what I needed to stay off the booze. This next year I intend to spend looking deeper at myself, working out what makes me happy, what I really enjoy doing and saving the sugar for special occasions. My dependance on alcohol had become soooo ingrained in my physche for so many years, and was so all consuming that I had totally lost touch with who I am, and what makes me me!
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